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When I came out in my Appalachian high school at 15, my male classmates provided a daily crucible of homophobia. I was dismantling this patriarchal house, I'd tell myself, one shot glass at a time. Meanwhile, I picked up a minor in women's studies, where I lived by the mantra of Audre Lorde: “The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house.” Every time I entered a fraternity party with the sole expectation of scoring with that one bicurious brother, I did so with a fifth of vodka in hand and Lorde's words in my mind. My girlfriends, most of whom were in sororities, were baffled by the number of closeted men in their ranks. For each fraternity man I slept with, I bought a shot glass with their letters on it, the only way I had to get letters. If I couldn't be one of them, at least I could be with them. Over the next two years, I made it my mission to sleep my way up and down fraternity row. Faggots, after all, can't join fraternities.īut we can fuck the men who do. I overheard another brother saying, “Faggots can't join fraternities.” I never went back and was not surprised when, come bid day, my card had no stamps. I was invited to a party the next night, where I chugged my first beer and mostly hung out with a group of sorority women. “Good answer,” he replied, before we were given a tour of the house. The president stood still, my eyes focused on the gold trim of his stitch-lettered shirt. “So why do you want to be Greek?” he asked.
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The first time I sat cross-legged on the floor of a fraternity house living room, listening to the president give a speech about the history of the fraternity and the alumni who had gone on to be movie stars, CEOs and senators. class, and the odd professor, on his way to teach it, who all knew I'd just “shacked,” a term usually reserved to slut-shame sorority women but which was applied just as egregiously to me, the out gay man who wasn't Greek but desperately wished he were. I'd wake up early, SportsCenter or porn or whatever the boys had been watching still blaring on the big screen television, before making my way up College Street toward Cherry Hall and my women's studies classes.Īlternately, there were the mornings I left another fraternity house before dawn, climbing out a window or slipping out the side door, and made my way up the hill our campus was built on, with mussed hair and the same clothes I'd had on the night before, dodging the judgmental looks of good students on their way to their 8 a.m. Many were the nights, heaving, wiping the dripping vomit from my face on my Abercrombie T-shirt, I picked myself up off the cold linoleum, stumbled into walls and down creaky stairs, grasping the rickety handrail in a vain and dangerous attempt at balance, before passing out on the sofa in the living room. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.Nothing takes me back to college like the smell of stale piss mingled with pot and PBR. Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers
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